Reflection on the first 7 weeks

I have found that people tend to forget the first couple months of parenthood, so I thought I would write some stuff down before I forgot it all (mostly for our future reference for our friends). This is going to seem really long. It is targeted at pregnant Mom's (who tend to not mind reading about baby stuff).

Before I get into things, I think that Clara has generally been a relatively easy baby so far, so keep that in mind.

Books
Just ask us and you can borrow ours. We have a lot. Books for pregnancy, early childhood, and bbreast-feeding have all been useful. The "dad" versions are decent.

Classes
We went to a childbirth class. This was worth it, but took up more time than it needed to. You probably won't enjoy the classes, but I think they were worth it in the end.

Hospital Tour -- This was short and sweet and well worth it.

At the Hospital
This is already getting a bit fuzzy in my memory :). Epidurals are the best thing ever and Pitocin is evil. There is not much you can do about getting Pitocin, but it is evil. I would recommend against having a hard-set plan for how you want the labor to go. As with many things in life, flexibility will help to keep your stress down (and you don't need need extra stress). The last thing your wife needs is to feel bad if things are not going according to plan.

Changing the first diaper sucks. Babies first #2 is this nasty tarry stuff. These diaper changes are really a pain. I would suggest bringing your own diaper wipes with you, as the things they give you are junk. You might want to practice on someone else's baby ahead of time. I volunteer Clara :).

Don't hesitate to ask for help. The nurses will be happy to answer any questions you might have. Take advantage of this. Also, talk to a lactation consultant while you are there.

Coming Home - the first few days
Lots of people say that putting the baby into the car is one of the scariest things ever. I actually did not find this to be too bad.

The first night was hard. We constantly thought the baby was going to choke on her own spit-up. You probably will feel the same way -- but know that this is not going to happen. Babies have an awesome choke reflex to prevent this.

You are not going to sleep much these days. Clara was breast feeding, and generally wanted to feed every 2 hours. In the first few days when your milk is not really flowing, it takes like an hour to feed. 1 hour break every 2 hours does not leave much time for sleeping. Don't worry -- this gets better after the first week or two. You are actually supposed to wake your baby up to eat if she has gone 3 hours -- so you are pretty much guaranteed to get no good sleep. Babies on formula tend to go longer between feedings.

Try and get out and take a walk or something. You will both feel better if you have some time to get out.

We had a lot of food frozen and ready ahead of time. This was critical.

The First Month
Our parents were not there until Clara was ~2 weeks old. I was a bit worried about this, but I think it actually went pretty well.

I took 1 week off, and worked from home the 2nd week. I thought that went pretty well. Just be ready to avoid any early morning meetings for the first month or so, as there are going to be nights that just don't work well.

The mom needs to sleep whenever she has a chance. The dad needs to take care of as many of the chores as possible so that the mom will actually sleep (especially in the first 2 weeks or so).

Sleeping
The first few weeks are going to be terrible most likely. Don't worry -- it will get better.

For the first couple weeks, the Dad should plan on getting up for all the feedings. If the mom tries to do this by herself, she will just get over tired and end up crying and being unhappy for the next day. Nobody wants that. I was in charge of all the "non-feeding" stuff. That meant getting her up and changing her diaper, and then soothing her as needed (after feedings). I did not stay up while Janel was feeding Clara, but tried to make sure Janel was getting as much sleep as she could between the feedings.

We kept Clara in our room in a Bassinet (Graco Travel Crib) for the first couple weeks. Then we moved her into her own room. There are many ways to deal with this (common topic in books) and kids seem to end up the same regardless -- so IMHO you need to do what makes you happy (whatever that is). We found that you don't need a baby monitor (at night at least) (they are still useful for naps during the day). You really don't want to hear all the little squeeks that the baby will make -- and you should have no trouble hearing the crying when it comes time to feed.

Pacifiers are great (as soon as breast feeding is established). We started after ~3 weeks. I would buy a variety of them and find out what they like the most -- then buy a bunch of the ones they like the most so that there is always one handy. Clara likes the Nook ones the best.

Diapers
We are using a cloth diaper service (Tiddee Diddee). So far we like it. I don't think we are saving much money by doing this (after taking into account the diaper covers you need to buy), and you do need to change them more often (they cannot absorb as much). Not sure if it is true or not, but I have read that babies tend to potty train sooner (since they can actually feel it), but who knows if that is true or not.

We will re-evaluate this after she starts eating solid foods (this is @ ~4 months).

You need to get diaper covers for cloth diapers. You can buy them from Amazon. We have tried three different kinds:

• Thirsties (Snaps) -- These cover a wider weight range, but the snaps require a bit more effort. These are a bit of a pain at night, but are good during the day.
• Thirsties (Velcro) -- These are our favorite.
• Bummies (Velcro) -- We find that these stain faster than the Thirsties, so we don't like them as much.

Note that poop is going to get on the covers. You are going to have to wash them. This is not a big deal, just be ready :).


Crying
Clara is really good about this. I am not a good person for advice here.

Stuff to Buy
First off, different babies like different things. I would suggest getting 1 of a bunch of things. Find out what your baby likes. Then buy more.

Amazon has a new "Baby" store. Today they give you a free 3-month membership to Amazon Prime (free 2-day shipping on everything). If you keep buying stuff from their baby store, they extend your membership (with some limitations). This is awesome. Get it. You can find a lot of stuff at Amazon for substantially cheaper than Babies R Us.

Swaddling Blankets -- We don't use them for swaddling, but they are still nice to have. I would only get a couple.

Miracle Blanket -- These are for swaddling. Clara liked them for about a week or two. She now hates them. I would suggest getting 2. You can buy more if the baby really likes it.

Sleep Sack -- I would suggest getting 2. Clara loves these. We have 2, and don't need more.

Graco Travel Lite (Portable Crib) -- This is the "cheap" one. I think the more expensive ones are pointless. Good for a bassinet early on.

Fisher Price Bouncy Chair -- Not too expensive. Clara seems to like it more the older she gets.

35mm Prime Lens for DSLR -- Only 1 chance for good photos. If you are going to go the DSLR route, make sure you get your camera a while ahead of time so you know how to use it. Otherwise you are better off with a regular digicam.